So I turn 28 tomorrow... and I'm feeling just a tiny bit anxious. I'm not normally one to feel fussed by age, frequently aging myself up in absent-mindedness when asked (I spent a solid six months telling people I was 26 when I was actually 25) but for some reason, 28 is looming with a sense of time running out.
This is patently ridiculous when examined by a sensible mind, of course; why is time running out? For what? Who's running? Certainly not me, with my dodgy ankles and unreliable back. And I know age is just a number and all that. And I don't feel like I'm nearly 28, not at all. So instead of nibbling at my nails and wondering again why I don't have all my shit together, I've decided to throw together a list of very achievable behaviours I'd like to implement before my next birthday. Not goals per se, but a small list of self-improvement actions that might, who knows, help me feel a little bit better about myself before my 29th.
1. Take more photographs
"Take more photographs?" bellows my external hard drive in disbelief. Yes, I already take a lot of photographs... but they tend to be grouped around singular occasions, such as the 600-odd I took at my best friend's wedding at Easter, or the 400 snapped over Christmas. What I would like to do this year is not only improve my abilities as a photographer, but also capture more of our day-to-day life. The older I get, the more frail my memory, and we are so blessed in this day and age to have endless amounts of virtual memory on our phones and computers, so I would like to create memories of the little things which make up daily married life. I'm also going to start printing more images and creating physical albums rather than keeping them on my laptop, and I finally want to get around to having our wedding album printed!
2. Resume yoga practice
Last year I discovered Yoga with Adriene, bought myself a Primark yoga mat, and spent 25 minutes every day contorting myself into a poor approximation of downward dog. And you know what? It felt bloody good! Unfortunately, we then bought a new bed, moved the old bed into our spare room and I lost my yoga space and I've really missed it. I'm now looking at getting rid of the old bed cluttering the spare room and regaining some carpeted floor space to take half an hour for myself every day - if nothing else, my mind needs it!
3. Be more mindful
So this goes in hand with the above resolution - so often I find myself on autopilot, like so many others. My days are finely tuned to a schedule that allows me to get up, get out and get to work on time, but looking back over my working weeks there's a pattern of days blending into one, with me collapsing on the sofa at the end of it, feeling exhaustion and not much else. I keep trying to remind myself that I am fortunate to work in a beautiful city, full of excitement; I'm fortunate to live around the corner from a beautiful park; I'm fortunate to have the ability and time to stop and breathe everything in from time to time. So my game plan going forward is this: make more time for nature, as I work so close to Regents Park there's no excuse for not visiting the park of a lunch time. My best friend and I are planning on going for more walks as the weather improves and exploring our living spaces. And to top this off, I have been trying to use Instagram as a platform to stop and find something beautiful at least once a day, whether it's the light bouncing off shop windows, a pretty magnolia tree in bloom, or a moody sky reflected in a puddle.
4. Accept more social invitations
Anyone who has ever struggled with social anxiety or extreme fatigue (or both! Welcome to the club!) will know how easy it is to turn down drinks after work, or nights out with people who aren't your nearest and dearest. Even when I'm having a confident day I still find myself a little unwilling to go out, with the comfort of home beckoning to me. But I've resolved to try and power through the exhaustion and make myself go out a little more - it gets easier every time and I always end up enjoying myself so it's silly to try and hold myself back.
5. Travel
This is a tough one to accomplish with financial and work constraints, but I do want to see more of the world! My friends and I are debating some little city trips, starting off with Berlin, and I'd like to go back to Vienna as it really captured my heart last year. I also want to visit home a little more often, to settle my homesick self.
6. Start driving lessons
Can you believe, I'm nearly 28 and have never had a proper driving lesson... In hindsight I really should have pursued this whilst at uni as I had so much free time, but I was young and foolish and liked spending far too much time in bed or in Starbucks (actually, I still like doing both those things...) So now here I am, and we're talking about all sorts of grown up things such as moving to rural villages or driving ourselves to Bluewater instead of begging kindhearted souls for lifts, so it's about time I started taking responsibility for my own mobility.
7. Make more time for reading
There was a time when I permanently had my nose buried in a book - whilst eating, whilst walking, often staying up until the early hours of the morning to turn the last page. I'm now happy if I can manage four books a month - not great when compared with my previous track record! The last couple of weekends I've blocked out a few hours on a Sunday to just curl up on the sofa with a book, and it's really helped me feel better in myself. I also rather enjoy doing my little book round-up posts here on the blog, so I need to get reading to keep them up!
8. Turn our flat into a home
7. Make more time for reading
There was a time when I permanently had my nose buried in a book - whilst eating, whilst walking, often staying up until the early hours of the morning to turn the last page. I'm now happy if I can manage four books a month - not great when compared with my previous track record! The last couple of weekends I've blocked out a few hours on a Sunday to just curl up on the sofa with a book, and it's really helped me feel better in myself. I also rather enjoy doing my little book round-up posts here on the blog, so I need to get reading to keep them up!
8. Turn our flat into a home
A very simple resolution in theory, yet hard to keep up in practice, I want to continue clearing out our unused belongings and slowly turn our flat into something more homely than the mish mash of items it has been since we moved in. I've been adding little touches such as gorgeously scented diffusers (I get mine from Adore My Door, a lovely local business with the best scents! Not an ad, I genuinely love them) and I just want to get the whole space the way I want it. It's a bit of a slog but I'm sure we will get there!
How do you deal with impending birthdays? Any tips or thoughts on my resolutions? I'd love to hear from you!
Love Dani
xoxo
