This year, more than ever, has felt like time is flying past and leaving me adrift in its wake. It has been months of quite frankly rubbish things happening (with a few wonderful bright spots dotted here and there) and I'm exhausted in a way I haven't really felt in ages. Some weeks ago I realised I was beginning to feel the cold, numbing, familiar fingers of depression creeping around my skull - not really something I can allow myself to succumb to at the moment! I'm sure the appalling "British summer" weather we're experiencing at the moment isn't helping, coupled with the fact I'm missing my family and my home a lot, and struggling to get out of bed and moving around right now.
These phases have always happened to me and they usually go hand in hand with fatigue. I feel it's only human, we can only soldier on for so long before we need to apply a little self-care, but the time has come to hold up my hand and say, I'm sorry, I'm not very good at looking after myself.
That said, I'm trying my hardest to change my outlook and not dwell on the negatives. I've booked a trip home next weekend (sometimes all a girl needs is a hug from her mum). I've taken to lighting relaxing candles before bedtime. I'm eating more avocado. I'm trying to read more (because I believe wholeheartedly in bookworm therapy!). I'm trying all sorts of things, but I wanted something I could turn into a habit as well.
Last weekend, while meandering around Covent Garden in search of an art shop for my granny, we decided to nip into Kikki.K to explore their wares, and before you could say "Instagrammable!" I'd walked out with this beautiful gratitude journal. Partly because it's so pretty to look at, and partly because it's filled with little prompts to encourage mindfulness and gratitude, every day. They start by telling you it takes 21 days to form a habit, and it felt so positive, I thought it was worth a try.
It's been years since I last kept a journal (one could argue, this blog constitutes a journal, but look how terrible I am at updating regularly!) but all this requires is 3 simple entries a day, listing things I've felt grateful for. Every night before bed, I sit down (with my new pen...) and ponder the day as it draws to a close. And so far, I've managed to find 3 things every day this week.
It may be a paltry amount but when you're reminded that there are at least 3 good things happening in your life, it makes all the difference.