Oh hi, remember me?
I've been more absent than usual recently and you might have noticed me moaning about being poorly on various social media channels (and goodness, have I whinged!). Well, the thing is, I've had an extremely good reason for all of this.
To be accurate, it's a super cute, bouncy, avocado-sized, baby-shaped reason!
It's the most wonderful surprise we could ever have hoped for. I've not spoken about it much, but for the last couple of years, after experiencing various health issues and talking to some fantastically tactless doctors (cheers y'all) I always thought pregnancy would be something beyond my reach.
When I was eighteen and undergoing cancer treatment I remember the doctors advising that radiation could cause infertility - fine, I said, I need to get better - and I wouldn't change my decision in hindsight because really, who would? It was only a decade later, married with a husband who always dreamed of his own family, that I started to ponder whether my body could actually provide the children he so badly wanted. And then came that lovely NHS specialist who shrugged at me, told me I had polycystic ovaries and an underactive thyroid on top of everything else, and basically sent me on my way empty-handed. I'm probably over-dramatising this in my head but that day I became utterly convinced I'd struggle to conceive. I built a plan in my head, a couple of years to save for treatments, I changed my diet, I watched everyone else around me fall pregnant and I wondered if I'd always be the odd one out.
And then.
One day in October, I cried at an advert on TV (the Lloyds TSB one, where the horse runs in slow-motion through people's lives... I KNOW.) and I thought that was very unlike me, it takes absolute devastation to get me to cry. I put it down to impending PMT.
And then despite having days of cramps, my period had yet to make an appearance. Lateness was not unfamiliar, but the cramps? They were something else. I had stomach pains that were so bad, I had to get off a train on the way to work and just cry on a bench for a bit.
Then one day I cried while reading the news the following morning (although in fairness, the news is bloody depressing). I'm really not a big crier, so it started to set off little question marks in my head. My manager at work and my friend both started asking me questions, saying could it maybe, could you be...?
And then.
And then.
Well, I bought three tests. And I had to google the first one because it was the cheapest one in Boots and I couldn't remember if that faint line had been there before. But the two digital ones that followed were absolutely unmistakable. The impossible had happened. Somewhere deep within me, a baby was coming to life.
It felt quite unreal at first, to think there is a little person developing in my tummy - it's still sinking in now. We had our 12 week scan at the end of November and I have never been so relieved in my life - thankfully baby was measuring fine and appearing healthy, despite bouncing all over the place and making it hard to get a clear picture at first.
So here we are, and we're absolutely over the moon! Our little bub is due June 2017 and I am so impatient to get the next six months over with so we can meet him or her! I'm so happy to be able to finally share this with everyone - I'm the worst at keeping secrets and surprises, so the last two months have basically consisted of me sitting on my hands and trying not to blurt it out in an Instagram caption. It's been SO hard not to shout it from the rooftops! Now I'm so excited to share the ins and outs of my journey with you, while hopefully still staying true to my usual blog content - becoming a mum might be super fun but I promise to still be my usual grumpy self underneath ;)
Lots of love,
Dani xoxo
I've been more absent than usual recently and you might have noticed me moaning about being poorly on various social media channels (and goodness, have I whinged!). Well, the thing is, I've had an extremely good reason for all of this.
To be accurate, it's a super cute, bouncy, avocado-sized, baby-shaped reason!
It's the most wonderful surprise we could ever have hoped for. I've not spoken about it much, but for the last couple of years, after experiencing various health issues and talking to some fantastically tactless doctors (cheers y'all) I always thought pregnancy would be something beyond my reach.
When I was eighteen and undergoing cancer treatment I remember the doctors advising that radiation could cause infertility - fine, I said, I need to get better - and I wouldn't change my decision in hindsight because really, who would? It was only a decade later, married with a husband who always dreamed of his own family, that I started to ponder whether my body could actually provide the children he so badly wanted. And then came that lovely NHS specialist who shrugged at me, told me I had polycystic ovaries and an underactive thyroid on top of everything else, and basically sent me on my way empty-handed. I'm probably over-dramatising this in my head but that day I became utterly convinced I'd struggle to conceive. I built a plan in my head, a couple of years to save for treatments, I changed my diet, I watched everyone else around me fall pregnant and I wondered if I'd always be the odd one out.
And then.
One day in October, I cried at an advert on TV (the Lloyds TSB one, where the horse runs in slow-motion through people's lives... I KNOW.) and I thought that was very unlike me, it takes absolute devastation to get me to cry. I put it down to impending PMT.
And then despite having days of cramps, my period had yet to make an appearance. Lateness was not unfamiliar, but the cramps? They were something else. I had stomach pains that were so bad, I had to get off a train on the way to work and just cry on a bench for a bit.
Then one day I cried while reading the news the following morning (although in fairness, the news is bloody depressing). I'm really not a big crier, so it started to set off little question marks in my head. My manager at work and my friend both started asking me questions, saying could it maybe, could you be...?
And then.
And then.
Well, I bought three tests. And I had to google the first one because it was the cheapest one in Boots and I couldn't remember if that faint line had been there before. But the two digital ones that followed were absolutely unmistakable. The impossible had happened. Somewhere deep within me, a baby was coming to life.
It felt quite unreal at first, to think there is a little person developing in my tummy - it's still sinking in now. We had our 12 week scan at the end of November and I have never been so relieved in my life - thankfully baby was measuring fine and appearing healthy, despite bouncing all over the place and making it hard to get a clear picture at first.
So here we are, and we're absolutely over the moon! Our little bub is due June 2017 and I am so impatient to get the next six months over with so we can meet him or her! I'm so happy to be able to finally share this with everyone - I'm the worst at keeping secrets and surprises, so the last two months have basically consisted of me sitting on my hands and trying not to blurt it out in an Instagram caption. It's been SO hard not to shout it from the rooftops! Now I'm so excited to share the ins and outs of my journey with you, while hopefully still staying true to my usual blog content - becoming a mum might be super fun but I promise to still be my usual grumpy self underneath ;)
Lots of love,
Dani xoxo
0 lovely people had something to say