When I was little, everyone told me I would be a writer, for I was a most voracious reader. I would regularly steal (sometimes wildly inappropriate) books from my mother's shelves, I insisted on doing spelling tests for fun, I would run around the garden making up stories. I lived half my life inside my head.

But I am not a writer. The writing has never really evolved beyond a few modules for my literature degree, a few classes at school, a few half-finished stories lost on the internet. This blog is my longest-running work to date but I couldn't really call it a story - it is a keepsake, a diary, a place to store thoughts like these. A creative outlet.

So I am not a writer, although they all told me I would be.

Instead I have been, in ascending order: a hairdressing assistant, a babysitter, a film extra (such fun), an editor's intern, a customer services agent, a supply chain coordinator, a buying assistant, and now an assistant merchandiser. Somewhere along my little career journey I fell into the wholesale accessories industry, which, although not terribly lucrative, is rather fun - things move very quickly, no two days are the same, and there is constant planning ahead. I can pretend it is a fashion career, because we deal in seasons and at any given time I'm thinking at least a year in advance. But I never planned on having a fashion career. I like buying things, I like consuming, I like samples and editorials and selling to people. I like spreadsheets and order and formulas and cracking numbers. But I don't love them (although v look-ups are life-changing, I swear).

I am not a corporate person by any means and the idea of working in a formal office never really took hold inside my head, so I have been very fortunate to work in such casual, fun, relaxed environments, where samples spill from the walls and inspiration can be found in every nook. But the creativity so rampant within my workplaces so rarely aligns with my own abilities - words have no place when you're selling to businesses, you see. You don't need to enthrall a business owner as much as you would a consumer. So I kept my head down and played my roles and saved any creative input for the blogging world, which has been my saving grace so many times over the years. And then, my colleagues discovered my blog. And they were supportive, and congratulatory, and encouraging. When we needed product shots for a catalogue, they asked me to help, on the basis that I was capable of producing halfway decent images for my own blog.

I'd always enjoyed photography, you see, but I was always told I'd be a writer and so that was my identifier, my creative focus. As a teenager, I used photographs liberally for art projects at school, I took ridiculous selfies for forum icons, I tentatively learned to use Photoshop to create banners for my online stories, I collected and devoured fashion magazines, ripping out my favourite editorials and creating collages for my room. But it was always secondary to my writing - and now for the first time, in my late twenties, I wondered if maybe I had been following the wrong path all along.

So I started small. I invested more time and money into my blog images, I dedicated time to my Instagram, I made a concerted effort to take my bulky DSLR out and about. If nothing else, I decided, I'd have plenty of material to fill future photo albums, for any offspring to enjoy and laugh at. I took my camera to my best friend's wedding, with the simple intention of taking some nice photos for my own album, but then she printed them. My little snaps, displayed alongside her professional images.

Having struck up a rapport with her wedding photographer, the lovely Laura DeBourde, I started putting together a little plan.I signed up for an online photography course to make sure, once and for all, that I understood all the technical aspects (and passed with 98%!). I invested my birthday money in a new lens. I started dragging my friends out for weekend strolls, just so I could take snaps and play with lighting. And then, last week, Laura asked me if I'd like to shadow her for a wedding, and before I properly knew what I was doing, I agreed to cover groom preparation. Me! With my little camera, shaky hands and over-reliance on VSCO!

It was terrifying. It was tiring. But it was also exhilarating, and I didn't stop smiling once. Even after looking through my photos the next day, identifying things I need to improve on, angles I should have checked, people I should have focused on - there were a few I actually felt proud of. When I posted some on Instagram, I was overwhelmed by the response - and when the bride herself commented, I could have cried with joy. I have rarely felt more emotional about putting something of my own creation out into the world, and all the words in my expansive arsenal are not enough to accurately describe my state of mind.

So what I'm trying to say is, it's all linked, somehow. If I hadn't loved the world of words, I'd never have felt compelled to start a blog. If I hadn't joined the blogging community, I would never have felt the need to work on my photography. I would never have realised how much I enjoy taking photographs. And I would certainly, never, ever, in a hundred years, have dreamed that people might like my photographs. I would never have reached this stage where I might even be considering making this a thing - but here I am, and I don't know how I'll do it, or what I might achieve - all I know is that I love taking photos and now I know it's something I want to progress with. People change so much over time, it's only natural for our dreams to grow with us.

I've started a fledgling Facebook page here if you're interested - just a teeny space at the moment, and I am so hesitant to even call it a business while I'm still developing, but every dream needs a starting point, right?

Love Dani
xoxo

What better reason to brave the gloomy rain of a summer's day than a food festival? If you're a bit of a foodie like me, I'm sure you'll quite agree that this year's Taste of London restaurant festival and its delicious offerings are worth even the heaviest of downpours.

I'm terrible for compiling endless lists of restaurants to visit and then making it to approximately none of them - my Wunderlist stretches to about 30 different places - so this was a perfect opportunity to sample some of their wares without making a single booking. We booked the evening session, made a list of stalls to visit and prepared ourselves for a feast!



My favourite dishes were the wagyu beef puff and popcorn shrimp from Chai Wu, closely followed by the eponymous Duck & Waffle - so delicious! We also popped into the following:

Kurobuta for a BBQ pork bun (amazing)
Sartoria for fettucine and truffle
72-hour smoked beef at Club Gascon
Shotgun BBQ's Southern fried chicken
Bubbledogs' Tater Tots
Meatliquor Buffalo wings and blue cheese dip (although I didn't sample this)









Finally, after grateful acceptance of all free samples offered to us (those strawberries!) we finished off with warm Apfelstrudel from German Gymnasium. By this stage we had been at the festival for a good couple of hours and it was beginning to get a bit crowded, so we made our way home by way of the beautiful Regents Park - I work round the corner and really hope the weather perks up soon so I can spend more lunch breaks by the water!




Despite the rain it was a really good evening - although portions are quite small we all felt rather full after sharing dishes and it was a lovely way of sampling restaurants we had yet to visit. Prices vary from £5 to £12 for the "icon" dishes at each stand, so it wasn't the cheapest of events but our overall spend came to about £25-£30 per person, so not far off a sit down meal. There were also plenty of places to sit down and enjoy your food, but the rain meant we chose to walk around or eat under cover of the stands instead. If you're visiting I would definitely recommend getting there for the earlier part of your slot as it can get quite busy!

Taste of London runs until Sunday 19th June and tickets are still available here.

Love Dani
xoxo

So this September marks 8 whole years since I moved back to the UK, and although I've had some fab adventures here and there, on the whole, I've not really explored much beyond the South East. I realise this is a crime against the more scenic areas on this island and I am very ashamed, ok? It's pretty poor when you've seen more of France and Spain than the country emblazoned upon your passport. So when my sister moved to York for university, it gave me a perfect excuse to navigate the Virgin Trains website looking for cheap tickets.
My first visit lasted all of 24 hours, this time last year, but I managed 3 days in March as well and let me tell you, I'm in love with the North. So picturesque (once you've passed the industrial wastelands around Doncaster, that is...), full of friendly peeps and so green, it reminds me of home! The copious amounts of coffee and cake consumed rather helped, although I can't say I was overly impressed by the weather on my visits - a mere five minutes of sunshine graced my stay the first time, while it snowed the second time! Perhaps I need to schedule my explorations more carefully... At any rate, here is my approved list of things to do if you visit York (as confirmed by my sister!).



exploring
York is such a gorgeous walled city and I found it easy to walk around; if walking isn't your jam though, the buses are pretty decent and not too expensive to hop on and hop off! In the city centre itself I'd recommend popping into the Minster, loitering around Kings Manor (it has a secret cafe, so don't be put off by the fact it's part of the university) and admiring the ruins of St Mary's Abbey in Museum Gardens. An eternal lover of academia, I insisted on taking a bus up to the uni campus and having a nose around - it's incredibly verdant and pretty, but mind the resident flocks of geese!
My sister and I also squeezed in a quick afternoon trip to Harrogate (only 20 minutes by train) - although we didn't have time to visit the famous spa, we did enjoy exploring and had a rather delish lunch (more on that later). We also resolved to visit the nearby town of Knaresborough as it looked utterly delightful from the train!








shopping
As a student city, York certainly has no shortage of wonderful shops! There are some fabulous charity shops (the Sue Ryder branch has a whole floor devoted to vintage wonders, definitely worth checking out) and there is inevitably a bookshop on every corner (pictured is the lovely Fossgate Books). My favourites, however, were the Yorkshire Soap Company and the Imaginarium, side by side a short walk away from Betty's in the centre - one full of deliciously scented goodies (I am the proud owner of the Whitby Bay candle!) and the other a veritable treasure trove of knick knacks and intricate gifts. Unfortunately they don't allow photos but take my word for it, these are wonderful stores! Finally, I fell in love with a standing copper lamp in Barnitts, which is a bit like Lakeland, if Lakeland was cheaper, sprawling, and full of every possible item you might need in your home.





eating & drinking
Oh, my favourite pastime - food and drink! Now York & Harrogate may be famous for the stalwart of afternoon tea that is Betty's, but we eschewed the queues outside for smaller places, tucked away. I'm actually almost reluctant to share my favourite place because I love it so much, but to hide it would do it a disservice, so I'll let you in on a secret - hidden within an ancient stone tower, up a winding staircase, is Gatehouse Coffee, and it is a brilliant establishment. Purveyors of the best chai I've had, as well as every hot drink under the sun plus a selection of delicious paninis, they are the ones to visit if you've ever dreamed of curling up in your own version of Gryffindor common room.
Another fabulous eatery is the York Cocoa House, with a thousand types of hot chocolate, and every dish contains chocolate in some format - I sampled goat's cheese scones with chocolate and surprisingly it worked - they also do chocolate afternoon teas which I'm determined to try on my next visit! For more cake and coffee, try Brew + Brownie for instagrammable latte art and delicious pancakes! If you're in need of something a little more savoury, may I direct you to Major Tom's Social in Harrogate for amazing pizza, or Winner Winner down by the River Ouse for tasty Deep South fare (including, of course, a Winner Winner Chicken Dinner - absolutely delectable!). If you're a little thirsty after all that food, head to Gibson's for cheap-as-chips cocktails - slide down one of the big benches and pretend you're just another student (as I did - ha!).











Needless to say, this list is in no way exhaustive - I've only been twice, after all - and York has plenty more to offer! For a resident's view do let me direct you to the lovely Martha's blog, and if any of you have recommendations for my next visit, please share them here!

Love,
Dani xoxo

This year, more than ever, has felt like time is flying past and leaving me adrift in its wake. It has been months of quite frankly rubbish things happening (with a few wonderful bright spots dotted here and there) and I'm exhausted in a way I haven't really felt in ages. Some weeks ago I realised I was beginning to feel the cold, numbing, familiar fingers of depression creeping around my skull - not really something I can allow myself to succumb to at the moment! I'm sure the appalling "British summer" weather we're experiencing at the moment isn't helping, coupled with the fact I'm missing my family and my home a lot, and struggling to get out of bed and moving around right now.

These phases have always happened to me and they usually go hand in hand with fatigue. I feel it's only human, we can only soldier on for so long before we need to apply a little self-care, but the time has come to hold up my hand and say, I'm sorry, I'm not very good at looking after myself.

That said, I'm trying my hardest to change my outlook and not dwell on the negatives. I've booked a trip home next weekend (sometimes all a girl needs is a hug from her mum). I've taken to lighting relaxing candles before bedtime. I'm eating more avocado. I'm trying to read more (because I believe wholeheartedly in bookworm therapy!). I'm trying all sorts of things, but I wanted something I could turn into a habit as well.

Last weekend, while meandering around Covent Garden in search of an art shop for my granny, we decided to nip into Kikki.K to explore their wares, and before you could say "Instagrammable!" I'd walked out with this beautiful gratitude journal. Partly because it's so pretty to look at, and partly because it's filled with little prompts to encourage mindfulness and gratitude, every day. They start by telling you it takes 21 days to form a habit, and it felt so positive, I thought it was worth a try.

It's been years since I last kept a journal (one could argue, this blog constitutes a journal, but look how terrible I am at updating regularly!) but all this requires is 3 simple entries a day, listing things I've felt grateful for. Every night before bed, I sit down (with my new pen...) and ponder the day as it draws to a close. And so far, I've managed to find 3 things every day this week.

It may be a paltry amount but when you're reminded that there are at least 3 good things happening in your life, it makes all the difference.

I don't write about music a lot on this blog. I’m just not capable of turning out some critically brilliant and in-depth review – it’s all personal here – but I’m feeling the need to write, and somehow capture a snapshot of my feelings on Friday night.

Let’s begin with a little backstory, then. When I was blindsided by my cancer diagnosis in 2005,  it threw me off course entirely. I couldn't speak about my feelings because I wasn't entirely sure what I was feeling, so I shut myself down and got on with fighting the illness. Although I was chipper enough on the outside, my head was a mess; needless to say, I was not a sociable patient. When nurses came in to check on me during chemotherapy, it was common for me to ignore them entirely, headphones on, volume up high, lost in albums. One of those albums was Hours, by Funeral for a Friend. I'd play it on repeat, as high as I could allow, over and over, until the drips were removed and I could go home.

Although a decade has now passed and I have changed in immeasurable ways, there are so few albums in my music library that resonate within my soul and that have remained a constant favourite over the years. So when I heard the band were calling it a day, that they were playing one last tour, that they would play Hours in full - it felt like the fates had conspired for me somehow.
I was emotional weeks before the show; and walking into the Forum in Kentish Town I felt such a rush of nostalgia, quickly buried under excitement. I was grinning from ear to ear as we took our seats (yes, seats – how things have changed now I’m approaching my thirties, no mosh pit for me anymore!) and my heart nigh on burst when Funeral took to the stage.

And for the first few songs I was golden, roaring my heart out with great gusto- then they played History and I was lost.

History is my song. I don't know how else to describe it. It's linked to a time of such turmoil, when I was alone, and terrified, and in need of an anchor; then along came a song that spoke of solidarity, that lifted me out of the hole I'd fallen into, that reminded me that no matter how bad things got, I was not alone. I remember clearly the day I stopped thinking of the people who'd lost themselves to the illness and instead looked to those who had survived, and chose them as my allies. The song encapsulates everything I felt during my illness and after – feelings that had been buried for a decade -  and I stood there and sobbed, unable to sing along, while all around me a sea of hands were raised in salute.  

It was such an exhilarating gig: it’s one thing for the band playing to be on top form, but it really elevates the atmosphere when the crowd performs too. Every single person there danced and sang, it was a cacophony of emotions and I most certainly was not the only person with tears streaming down my face.

I’m not exaggerating when I say this was the best show of my life. From the moment they struck the first chord of All The Rage I was transported back ten years - I still knew all the words. I bounced and danced and laughed and sang, totally swept up in a joyful bubble of noise. Here it was, the soundtrack to my last decade – Monsters, for unsociable bus rides to school; The End of Nothing, for furious, stomping, door-slamming moods;  Sonny, for bleary-eyed commutes; Escape Artists Never Die, for scribbling down creative writing assignments; I Am The Arsonist, for studying endless notes; Into Oblivion, for driving over the border to home, the final moments of a long and weary journey. So many memories. And although Funeral’s time as a band may have come to an end, I am confident their music will carry me into the next decade and beyond.

Thank you, Funeral for a Friend, from that lost girl on the cancer ward; and thank you, from the woman she grew into.

Hello my loves,

So during March and April I kind of fell off the reading wagon - pretty shamefully so when compared to my January and February update (although in fairness I did spend most of February confined to the sofa, which provided somewhat of an advantage).

In terms of reading material, I continued to indulge my affinity for fantasy novels, starting with the rather brilliant Johannes Cabal series. Johannes Cabal is a necromancer who gets up to all sorts of escapades, including but not confined to, winning a wager with the devil, solving mysterious murders, escaping Lovecraft's dreamscapes, battling the undead, and many more. The style of writing is utterly hilarious, very much a black comedy, and although I have a soft spot for Cabal's friendly vampire brother, Johannes himself is a brilliant protagonist who puts me in mind of Jonathan Stroud's Bartimaeus at times (one of my favourite literary characters!). There are four books available at present, with a fifth due this year.

Next I picked up Victoria Aveyard's Glass Sword, a sequel to Red Queen which I read last year. I did enjoy this, but I almost feel as though I ruined my reading experience by going through too many YA fantasy novels recently, as I find myself getting very confused and having to google previous events and characters to remind myself of what happened! Nonetheless it's a solid sequel, with a little more violence and gore compared to other YA novels, and it ends on quite a nice cliffhanger setting it up for the next installment. The premise, if unknown to you, consists of a world ruled by Silvers, who have magical powers and lord it over the Reds, who generally are regular humans, except for the heroine. The discovery of her abilities sets off all sorts of political intrigue and this book deals with her coming to terms with this and attempting to shift the power balance away from the Silvers.

Following on from this is Sabaa Tahir's An Ember in the Ashes, a welcome birthday gift and a book I'd wanted to read for a while! Sadly I found it didn't quite live up to my expectations. I feel that although Tahir is a great writer - there were flashes of absolute brilliance - she almost seemed to write the main characters as clichés at times, and there were more than a few phrases which made me roll my eyes as it just felt as though she was trying to make the story a little too mainstream and traditional YA. That said, I'll most likely pick up the sequel when released, as I think it has a lot of potential and the main characters have room to develop into more unique personas.

After Ember I was almost inclined to give up on young adult fiction for a little while, until I was looking a book to add to my Waterstones buy 1get 1 half price deal, and picked up Uprooted by Naomi Novik simply because I liked the cover. I cannot emphasise enough how unfussed I was about reading this. I cannot emphasise enough how wrong I was.
I loved Uprooted. The heroine was super likable and empathetic, the hero was a grumpier Stannis Baratheon, despite some romance it was mostly about friendship between two girls, and the storyline was as intricately woven as the Wood within the novel. I raced through it in about two hours and I could happily read it again today. It's a little bit darker and more adult than most, and I particularly liked the Eastern European influences as it's a bit different to the usual fairy-tale inspiration found in other stories. Uprooted is the kind of book I'd love to write one day, the sort you can sink into as comfortably as an old favourite armchair, as inspiring as your childhood fairytales and as magical as entering Disneyworld for the first time.

So that's my lot for now - next up I'm reading The Taming of the Queen by Philippa Gregory, and I have several books in my Amazon basket all set to be ordered. Any recommendations, or thoughts, or questions? Leave a comment below!

Love Dani
xoxo

Hello my loves,

So I turn 28 tomorrow... and I'm feeling just a tiny bit anxious. I'm not normally one to feel fussed by age, frequently aging myself up in absent-mindedness when asked (I spent a solid six months telling people I was 26 when I was actually 25) but for some reason, 28 is looming with a sense of time running out.

This is patently ridiculous when examined by a sensible mind, of course; why is time running out? For what? Who's running? Certainly not me, with my dodgy ankles and unreliable back. And I know age is just a number and all that. And I don't feel like I'm nearly 28, not at all. So instead of nibbling at my nails and wondering again why I don't have all my shit together, I've decided to throw together a list of very achievable behaviours I'd like to implement before my next birthday. Not goals per se, but a small list of self-improvement actions that might, who knows, help me feel a little bit better about myself before my 29th.

1. Take more photographs
"Take more photographs?" bellows my external hard drive in disbelief. Yes, I already take a lot of photographs... but they tend to be grouped around singular occasions, such as the 600-odd I took at my best friend's wedding at Easter, or the 400 snapped over Christmas. What I would like to do this year is not only improve my abilities as a photographer, but also capture more of our day-to-day life. The older I get, the more frail my memory, and we are so blessed in this day and age to have endless amounts of virtual memory on our phones and computers, so I would like to create memories of the little things which make up daily married life. I'm also going to start printing more images and creating physical albums rather than keeping them on my laptop, and I finally want to get around to having our wedding album printed!

2. Resume yoga practice
Last year I discovered Yoga with Adriene, bought myself a Primark yoga mat, and spent 25 minutes every day contorting myself into a poor approximation of downward dog. And you know what? It felt bloody good! Unfortunately, we then bought a new bed, moved the old bed into our spare room and I lost my yoga space and I've really missed it. I'm now looking at getting rid of the old bed cluttering the spare room and regaining some carpeted floor space to take half an hour for myself every day - if nothing else, my mind needs it!

3. Be more mindful