How naive I was. I want to shake past-Dani and ask her why on earth she wasn't more stressed, because instead of spreading the stress out over several months, she decided to save it all for the last three weeks before the wedding. Well done past-Dani. Good job. Thanks.
Honesty is a big thing for me - I could sit here and bang out a happy post about some wedding DIYS, or my hen parties, all jolly and cheerful and whee it's only 19 days away now, woo! But it would be false and I think there are more than enough articles on wedding positivity out there. So let's be honest - it's cold and grey outside, time is skipping by and I'm more than a little low.
The last couple of weeks I have been knocked for six by a wave of anxiety, along with a few of life's nasty little surprises, and I'm feeling more than a little overwhelmed by all the niggling little details. Thankfully I'm lucky enough to have lovely family and friends pitching in and helping me with everything, but I'm so stressed, even the concept of delegating jobs is getting to me! How are we going to transport the cake without destroying it? Who's going to hand out the wedding bubbles? Who will help clear up the marquee after the wedding? How am I actually getting to the wedding? Where am I going to put my family? When is the sun going to come out so we can have our engagement shoot? When is my cripplingly low self-esteem going to be slightly less crippling? How can I stop comfort-eating? Why have the ends of my hair turned black instead of sepia brown as promised by the box of hair dye? Why have I developed patches of eczema on my arms? Why does everyone keep asking me questions? Why can't I stop worrying about things beyond my control?
To combat this I've booked a hair appointment for some pampering, stuffing myself with supplements and forcing myself to get the yoga mat out more often. Most of all I'm trying my best to focus on nice things, like being able to call Jon my husband every time anyone speaks to me after 3pm on our wedding day, eating bacon butties and dancing with my friends, and most of all soaking in the amazing bathtub above in our wedding cottage. But right now, I just want to sleep for a week and get someone else to sort all the last minute bits and bobs for me while I pretend everything is ok. It's not ok. I'm not immune to stress and I am not a top-notch organiser. In fact, last weekend I had so much planned and so much to achieve, and instead spent the whole two days in bed with Netflix whilst battling my anxiety with every shred of energy left in me. I'm exhausted.
How do you deal with stress? Any tips for me??
Love Dani
xoxo
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